| mornings |
[Apr. 9th, 2004|09:06 am] |
i used to detest mornings
i would hide under my blanket when my came to wake me up for school
one time in high school i accidently kicked my dad in the face when he tried to torture me out of bed
in elementary/middle school i would pretend to be awake while my mom was still in the room, then walk into my closet to pick some clothes and instead lie down on the floor and promptly fall back asleep until someone realized it was too quiet in there and came in and yelled at me
mornings were always rushes
how fast can i slip into clothes, brush my teeth and throw some food into my backpack for lunch
in college it was often even more of a race, throwhairback-throwonclothes-thrashtoothbrushagainstteeth-throwbooksinbad-throwdooropen-andhustleovertotaylor
now that i am an "adult" mornings have assumed a new quality
late night is passe
to juvenile
too reminiscent of painful allnighters and poorly written papers
the morning is the new stolen time
i love coming to the computer in the morning with my breakfast as if this windowless nook were a sunny table with the morning paper
maturity has enabled me to see the peacefulness of morning
i relish this time, but i always exceed my alottment of morning rest time and have to resume the rush throw on clothes and all that, but now i need to look more respectable and have to walk 15 block to work instead of a few yards to my classroom
like right now |
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| don't wake me i plan on sleeping |
[Apr. 6th, 2004|08:04 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | the postal service | ] |
this supremely surprised me:
You are a GRAMMAR GOD!
If your mission in life is not already to
preserve the English tongue, it should be.
Congratulations and thank you!
How grammatically sound are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
i don't think i ever really had formal grammar education in 'grammar' school. i was often embarassed in college by grammar errors in papers. and i thought i was screwing up while taking the test. does this say something about me or the quality of quizilla?
______________
i had two-thirds of an awful day at work today. my whole day just started on the wrong foot. for the first time, i really identified with the expression "woke up on the wrong side of the bed." i'm not sure what made me so cranky. maybe it was thinking about how someone wasn't her usual 10 miles down the road. i had minor aggravations before leaving the house and felt in a funk for my walk to work. then i didn't even have a chance to put my coat in the back before i had to start dealing with customers, who managed to get in the store before me. and npr was _blaring_. there is something about talking radio and high volumes that don't exactly mesh.
[whining about my day online still feels weird, even if this is livejournal]
i think i was still wobbling on the border between unrecoverable bad-mood and let's-just-get-you-some-chocolate-and-everything-will-be-okay-or-at-least-for-a-few-minutes until prof a came in. i was writing his books on his account card when the phone on the other end of the counter came off the hook and was making that annoying noise. i walked over to turn it off because no one wants to hear that. and he said something about couldn't i please write those titles down and give him the books because he didn't want to get a parking ticket. it seriously took me maybe 7 seconds to walk over and turn the phone off. it isn't my fault that he didn't plan well. and just because he is a published and respected academician (i have one of his books on my bookshelf from a cities class)doesn't mean he can treat people who provide services for him as "servants." i expect this priveleged attitude from the spoiled penn kids and have learned to laugh it off, but i expect more from a professor, especially a socio-anthropologist.
later in the day this man comes in. something seems suspicious about him so i try to keep my eye on him. but then i get upset with myself because i feel like i am judging him just based on what i look like. and i'm really hard on myself about that. i don't like to think that i judge people because of their race or their clothes or even maybe their awkward social skills (oh god, but i do). but even though i tell myself not to judge him i still keep half an eye on him to see if i should have been judging him. and my instinct was right. he stole a book. so what do i when my inner-racist-alarm goes off when i think i am judging someone just based on their skin color and then they prove my judgements right? bill and i have talked about this before, and we don't suspect every black person who comes in the store of stealing. i didn't think dr. a was going to steal any books. i guess retail is not the best place for someone who is self-deprecating about her judgemental tendencies.
small things were setting me off. part of the day i felt like i was going to cry. and i wanted to scream at david for asking my to call a publisher and ask for returns permission. but really, why should i do that? david is the returns guy. i know nothing about returns. and then i didn't understand the conversation i had with the publisher. what the fuck is an "rma"? when bill came upfront after lunch i sort of just spilled out some of this stuff that was making me so irritated and instantly i started to feel better. then i was realizing how the sun was still going strong as it was nearing six o'clock. and i started to relax. then michael stopped by and we ran a few errands and walked home together. and i was in a rather pleasant mood.
+ for the day ending up on the smiling sad
- for the fact that i can change so quickly from being on the brink of tears for no rational reason to skipping and wanting to turn my smiling face towards the sun for a kiss |
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| splashes |
[Mar. 31st, 2004|11:21 pm] |
so, i mock-bash lj all the time because blogger is way superior
but everyone needs to whine sometimes and get personal
so welcome to my lj |
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